


babe, you look so cool

by panftdarling



Series: picture, you're the queen of everything and i'll be your guardian [1]
Category: Frozen (2013), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Excessive Swearing, F/M, allusion to alcoholism, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panftdarling/pseuds/panftdarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is that all you can offer a good looking girl like me, Jackson Overland?”</p><p>
  <i>or</i>
</p><p>She was a slave to her addiction, with all the pretty pink powder and the glitter of dust in her eyes. And he didn’t care whether the blood on her cheek stained with all the sins he knew she was worth – because she was beautiful in the name of all her mistakes.<br/><span class="small"></span><br/><b>TRIGGER WARNING: check tags</b><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	babe, you look so cool

She claimed the name tundra bitch because her gaze was cold like a dead winter’s day. And she never smiled—not once ever. Beautiful as she was, no one’s ever stood a chance – those devil eyes always demanded more than any normal guy could offer. So Jackson Overland Frost never saw a happy ending in that summertime relationship they acquainted themselves to. Because despite all the beauty in the soft touches and shared breaths, there was something terribly wrong in the powder they inhaled and the high they lived in.

They met, sophomore year in high school, a girl so lost in all her insecurities and he was the boy everyone admired. It was a difficult time for all the teens that lived in Burgress, and frosty winter settled in with it’s dark nights and bright snow. They did not experience the cliché love at first sight but he was the guy with the pale hair and sapphire eyes, and _that_ made it difficult for her _not_ to notice him.

He had a reputation for drinking too much alcohol, and she was the good girl that took notes in class. Complete opposites in the social order of high school hierarchy, an imbalance beyond compare, yet so similar in their love for all the immoral the world could offer. And even with the good grades and her clean slate, she remained a sinner beyond the naked eye.

So when fate decided to intervene, they crossed each other one early Monday morning, halls void of whispering eyes and prying mouths. She was calm and regal as she walked through the tiled room, ice in every breath she took, and he stood by his locker, ears lent to earphones that blared the kind of music the world no longer knew existed.

“Good morning, Tundra.”

He muttered, eyes fixated on the screen of his phone, and she gave a small nod to acknowledge the greeting. She would’ve thought it ended there, but he had so much more in mind.

“Why are you always here so early?”

She knew he didn't give one fuck, and she so badly wanted to ignore him. But there was something endearing – and quite possibly charming – in the sincerity the blue in his eyes held as he looked up at her.

“It’s nice to be early. You don’t miss your classes, and you don’t get into trouble.”

“That’s a very good reason.”

“And yourself—why are you _always_ coming to school late?”

“I prefer missing my classes, and I don’t really care much for getting into trouble.”

“I know boys like you Jackson." She sneered, eyes begged to turn away from his sharp gaze. “I don’t like boys like you.”

“And you may find, it’s not really fair for you to easily categorize me like that.”

“And I suppose you’re not a hypocrite, calling me Tundra and all.”

“But you answer to the nickname, so I assume you don’t care.”

“Just because I don’t care, does not mean it’s not wrong.”

And it was true—he bitterly realized.

It was that small interaction – such a petty conversation – that got him so interested in her. Never mind the fact that ever since then he started to notice how pretty she actually was— _is_ —and he thought there was simply more to her than the elegance and grace of a queen, and the image rumors have vividly painted of her. And back then he swore by his heart, he would figure it all out, _figure her all out_.

So he started talking to her more often. Not just simple hellos, and goodbyes, or small smiles and brushes of the shoulder. He sat with her in class, talked to her at lunch. And slowly, he started to realize, there was nothing so icy about Elyssa Mari Arendellia _after all_.

She never questioned his motives either – which he was thankful for – and she got so much prettier every single time they met, it just about killed him. It was all in her eyes and sweet mocking mouth that he couldn’t help but long for. _Oh God—if only she felt the same_ , he prayed.

She was always so composed, the ideal image of a sickeningly sweet, innocent girl that could make any boy that fell in love with her change for the better. So it took a good long while for him to catch on—she was _not at all_ completely flawless. Despite the make-up that covered her bruised and pale skin, when you got close enough to truly see beyond the mask of her eyes, you would know – she was flawed by the pressure that drove her perfection.

It was halfway through junior year when he found out about her. He took her to a Christmas party his best friend – Harry Horrendous Haddock, the quirky boy with a girlfriend so brave and intimidating – hosted. As expected, she did not drink, nor smoke. And her clothes were loose and conservative. He thought he might have fallen further in love with her.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

He gave a small nod and left her be with the promise to come back and check on her later that night. She was okay with him leaving her, she really was. It was Jack’s territory after all, and it was a whole world she did not belong to. So she spent the rest of the night sat on a curb by the back door, a couple of smokers out. She coughed her heart out as if it was something so grotesque, when she knew it herself, it was blatant hypocrisy on her part.

“You’re Elsa Arendelle, aren’t you?”

A girl asked; pretty, short black hair, green and pink streaks sprayed on her fringe.

“Yes, I am.”

“I heard about you—you’re the tundra bitch.”

“I suppose that is my nickname.”

“I’m Tatiana Faye. You can call me Tooth.”

The girl extended a hand, manicured nails painted black, and her eyes dark in the shades of pale yellow light. She grinned, a pretty little one that Elsa could’ve sworn—if she were a boy, she would have fallen hard in love with her. And the organic drug stained the tips of her fingers, and she smelled just like her addiction, and Elsa understood. So she took the hand and shook it, with a small and polite smile.

“Do you want to try?”

“No, thank you.”

“Really? I’ve got a guy here that can offer you any drug you want.”

“Any drug?”

Her voice had that amused doubt in it, and she almost gave away a mocking smile. But she held herself back.

“Yeah—hey Sandy!”

A small and stout man waddled over to them, hair so golden—she was certain it _had to be_ dyed. He had sandy dilated eyes, and a lazy grin that told the story of his high. He never spoke, but signed, and Elsa sort of understood.

“Hello, Sandy says.”

Tooth translated for her, and Elsa nodded.

“Is he the guy?”

“Yup. Anything you want, he can offer it to you.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

“There’s temptation in your eyes, Elsa. That’s not something you can hide, especially from a girl like me.”

Elsa caved in. And half an hour later, she was laughing with Tatiana and Sanderson – Sanderson Mansnoozie, that was his full name, and a beautiful name it was indeed. Pretty dust misted over her wide eyes, and all she saw were bright colors of a psychedelic dream. It was beautiful being stuck in the abyss of something so detached from reality. When Jack stepped into the scene, he was furious.

“Tooth, what the fuck did you do?”

“What now, Jack?”

“What’d you do to Elsa?!”

“Please, she was begging for it.”

“Tooth, fuck off.”

Completely unknown to all that surrounded her, Elsa merely stared off in a daze, her body shook and her mood slightly lifted. Jack’s hold on her wrist, a warm touch that almost transported her back to reality, was something alien and brand new. And somehow, she remembered— _he was not supposed to know_.

“Jack.”

She tried to explain but he was so mad it scared her. So she never uttered another word. And he dragged her back to the car, and sat her there, whilst he stormed back into the house, loud swearing directed at Tooth and Sandy. She didn’t know that he worried so goddamn much about her, because she never thought it possible. All she could think of was how lovely the drug was to her, and how she wished he’d share the experience with her. Because over the course of these high school years, pills that pulled and blotches of paper were all that ever got her through.

She woke up in an unfamiliar bed the next day, all wrapped up in a plaid shirt too big for her, and her face a dirty mess. He was sitting on his bedroom floor, half a bottle of beer beside him, and she wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

“How long?”

It was a simple question. And though she wished she didn’t remember the night before, it was kind of impossible for her to lie to _this guy_. Mainly because, over the one year that they had known each other, he seemed to see right through all her bullshit.

“Since first year.”

“That long, huh?”

“I suppose.”

“Is that all you take?”

“Yes.”

“That’ll undo you one day.”

“And I suppose your alcohol won’t.”

She was right again. But he resisted the urge to yell at her, and tell her that _that's not really the case here_. To hell whether he killed himself with all the liquor he drank— _fuck that_. He didn’t care whatever happened to his body as long as she was okay with her pretty face and her innocence – that innocence that _never actually fucking existed in the first place_.

“Why would you do it?”

“Don’t fucking ask me that because you know fuck all about me.”

“I’m asking because I fucking care.”

“Oh wow, how noble of you Jackson Overland. But fuck you, I can take care of myself. And I don’t need your hypocritical ass on my fucking case.”

“Don’t you fucking get it?”

“No I don’t. Why don’t you just go and fall out of love with me already?! All that you thought I was is a lie!”

He was just as confused as she was. Why wasn’t he out of love with her already _anyway_? She was clearly living one big fat lie—and the look in her eyes would not let him forget that so easily. So why couldn’t he stop caring? Why couldn’t he just— _not_?

It scared him, and he was so fucking afraid to admit it – that everything she has done, and everything she was doing, it was all he ever wanted. Because he didn’t really care if she was in love with that hallucinogenic drug, or if she cared a little too much about her grades. The contradiction within her existence reminded him that he liked her, no matter what he found.

“You clearly don’t know how love works.”

“Then why don’t you explain it to me, huh?”

It was a rhetoric challenge. And despite the fact that she was not really expecting an answer, he kissed her anyway. She gasped as his hand crawled under the plaid shirt, and she was kissing him back with closed eyes. He tasted so much like all the wrongs in her life – from the drug abuse, to the lost parents and the unforgiving sister. And she was entertainment to his mouth.

Never had two people been so right for each other. The tundra bitch and the alcoholic—what a scary couple that was. And they started something scandalous, and amazing, and she fell in love with him the way she fell in love with the LSD. A small try, a curiosity sparked, to an obsession she could no longer seem to ever live without. And it was just as deadly as it was wonderful.

They found friends that loved the same things they loved. The kind of people that liked to hide under fire escapes and smoked rocks and browns. Tooth became Elsa’s best friend. Aside from their fucked up morals, she was the only girl among the group – and therefore, automatically understood her the most. And she loved it because there was no bullshit behind Tooth and her purple eyes.

“What do you think of Jack?”

“I think he’s alright.”

“You’ve got the guy pretty smitten.”

“He has me by the neck too, so we’re kind of even.”

“I’m kind of jealous.”

“Really?”

“Been liking him since the third grade.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re more like the kind of girl that would suit him best.”

And the best thing about it was, Tooth held no bitterness in the way she said that – rather, plain admiration. And they got along pretty well, even though she was the bad girl in class who spat at teachers and is the known slut of the school. Because she saw more than just beauty and façade with Tatiana. And she never minded prostitutes like her in the first place.

Though Jack was never one to take the kinds of things Elsa was so into, he did promise to do anything for her. No established relationship or anything, there were feelings and he just couldn’t stop himself from giving in to what she wanted. Because what she wanted was—and _is_ —everything he wanted. So he tried the pills, and the pretty pink powder. And the experience was less than favorable, but she promised him, he’ll get used to it.

“I don’t see what’s so good about this.”

“Clearly, you haven’t lived yet.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Well.”

“It’s still different, hearing things like that from you of all people. That balaclava you wear is perfect to hide the shit that you do.”

“It’s not that I’m a necessarily bad person. I just need a little bit of break – some sort of an escape, that’s all.”

“Will you ever stop?”

“Will you ever stop with the alcohol?”

“I don’t think so.”

“There’s your answer.”

“Our children would be terrible.”

“No.”

“Really now?”

“Not if we don’t leave them to make the mistakes we’ve made.”

“Are you saying it’s the parents’ fault?”

“Yes. More often than not.”

“Well, I think so too.”

They kissed again. The kind of kiss that could ruin you— _just a little bit_ —because it burned. And she looked so fucking good with her hair all messy and everything from the shadow in her eyes and face in dusty foundation, God only knew he’d never fucking leave her.

“I fucking love you.”

And they became some sort of a couple. The kind that didn’t live for the sweet moments or stolen kisses. They were like miscreants falling in love, everything in their life planned out for the crimes their souls were willing to commit. And eventually they blew out all their money on useless things they thought they needed, and they had to find another way to get through the life of the addicted. So they planned a heist. They conspired with Tooth and her boyfriend, a man with grey hair, ten years older than the lot of them. He never got along with Jack – always thought he was out to steal his girl – but Elsa adored him.

It was due on a school day, and Elsa refused to come – and those involved thought it ridiculous— _a drug addict like her, still caring about shit like that, doesn’t she know her life isn’t going anywhere?_ But Jack was Jack and he didn’t care about grades and all the works, so he did her part of the plan. It was a small robbery, in an unknown pit stop between the havens and their simple town.

_(The guns are out and bullets are fired. They get the dough, and he gets shot.)_

He was bathed in blood and spilled alcohol, but they bought the drugs before they tended to his wound – because Elsa’s escape was more important than his life at stake. He felt better with the powder in his system, and he confused hallucinations for painkilling. But the one thing he needed to numb the burn from the scar of his wreckless behaviour arrived three hours later, worried and eyes cried out.

They found each other by his bathroom sink, and his hand was dyed red but that didn’t stop her from kissing him. And with his soiled palm on the side of her face, they kissed and they fucked. With remnants of the LSD on his tongue, she licked it off and got high on herself. She was a slave to her addiction, with all the pretty pink powder and the glitter of dust in her eyes. And he didn’t care whether the blood on her cheek stained with all the sins he knew she was worth – because she was beautiful in the name of all her mistakes.

“Should we stop?”

She asked him, breathless on the bathroom floor, and he hesitantly nodded.

“I think it’s time.”

“Just one more.”

And the summer before senior year, they repented for all the sins they had committed. His silver hair glistened through the kaleidoscopic lights of their daydreams, and fucking and kissing whilst on their high was the best feeling in the world. But they knew this kind of lifestyle would not last any longer. It was not going to be easy detoxing, but if that’s what she needed, and _if that’s what will keep him alive—then screw the drugs_.

Sometimes, she misses hearing colors and seeing noises, but that’s all in the past— _she hopes_. They continue the rest of summer doing things normal couples do. But somehow that proves, that everything—even the good things—never do come easy. They find themselves losing the one thing that once kept them together. Because love—they find—is, and never really was, part of the equation in the first place.

The wreck of their blooming romance withers on the night before they’re back for senior year. He finds it bitterly accurate how much he predicted came to light with the summer of their relationship facing it’s end.

“Are you going to gun this relationship down because you can’t put your misplaced anger somewhere else besides me?!”

“You think I have misplaced anger? Well—fuck you then.”

“Think? Jesus Christ, I fucking know.”

“And how would you? You’re never home, you’re always fucking about with that goddamn prostitute.”

“Tooth is my fucking friend and you have no fucking right to call her that.”

“Why? Isn’t she one anyway?”

“You know fuck well why she does what she does—Goddamnit Elsa, you were her _best friend_. Just because you lose one thing you had in common with her, doesn’t mean you get to treat her like shit and start stabbing her behind the back.”

“You don’t fucking understand and you never will! All you care about is your booze and these addicted friends of yours—”

“Don’t act as if they were never yours!”

“I don’t care if you hang around with them Jack, I really don’t. You have the right to be friends with people who likes the same things you do. But I care about the fact that I’m losing you to them and you’re leaving me behind!”

She breaks down in front of him and his eyes go wide. He takes small step back, arms limp against his sides. There’s unfinished bottle of liquor, rolling and draining on the kitchen counter, and a revolver sitting on top of it. And the lights are off because they can’t pay their bills, and their house the smell of burning cigarette.

“I think we should break up.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

And he leaves. He takes a bag with everything he will ever need in it and runs away, from the only relationship he ever liked. She is left with everything; the house, the leftover drugs and alcohol, and the inability to pay rent. So she packs her things up as well, and leaves, because sooner or later she’ll be evicted and it’s better to go looking for something now than later.

Elsa with the platinum hair, and the cerulean eyes, sits by her sister’s front porch, smoking a stick of what she promised to never ever touch. But she’s given up the LSD and she doesn’t really want to go back, so she finds something else to atone for her loneliness.

“Elsa?”

The door opens, and her own blue eyes stare back at her broken figure. They’re wide and completely innocent – something different in contrast to who she is – and they reveal, something Elsa never thought she’ll ever see _again_. The warmth of a welcome, and forgiveness.

“Anna?”

“Are you okay? Come in—you poor thing.”

And if only the world had realized earlier that running away never does—and did—anything good, and if pride never hindered the human mind, we would all find, that miscommunications would be less likely to appear. And that’s something Elsa finally gets. Because she’s sitting in a fire lit living room, warm with a mug of hot chocolate, and a sister crying tears of happiness – and it takes her this long to see all the years that she’s missed thinking Annabella would never want her back.

“I’m so glad you’re home Elsa, welcome home.”

“Me too.”

But her world does not parallel with Jack’s as he finds himself almost left for dead on the roadside of his favorite club. There’s that empty revolver just by his side and siren cries don’t sound nearly as nice as that of the chimney crackling with fire. Cherry red lights burn and the paramedics almost lose hope. Because there’s just too many different substances in his system and alcohol is the least of all their worries.

It takes Elsa two weeks before she gets back into school. Happiness, a foreign name, now the only motto she has in her life. But that all seems to crumble when the news of Jackson Overland splashes across the school, leaving many people to thrive in the scandal of his summer expeditions. And she cries before she visits him.

“Hi.”

She shyly walks into the room, all white walls and beeping sounds that remind her, he’s not dead just yet.

“How are you?”

“I feel fucking wonderful, as you can see.”

He grins, nothing sarcastic. And she sees the needles pierced through his skin, and the dead look in his eyes.

“You said we’d stop together, right?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“Mine was different. Yours was LSD, that’s all you ever took. I had nicotine and tar, alcohol and the weed, and cocaine and heroin. I would’ve never let you go through what I did.”

When she sits on his bed, there’s melancholy in her eyes. And she presses her palm against his cheek like the day he covered himself in the blood of their addiction.

“I started it, didn’t I? If I never let you taste it, you would never have.”

“It’s okay.”

Their foreheads touch and she wants to kiss him. He’s all in a hospital gown, wrapped up in bandages and he still looks so fucking great. And in his eyes, she was still the most beautiful girl to ever exist. And she looks better now without the pale lack of sleep.

“Babe, you look so cool.”

She throws her head back laughing, whilst he kisses the soft of her knuckles. When she looks back at him, a smile ghosts over her lips and she leans in forward to breathe down his ear.

“Is that all you can offer a good looking girl like me, Jackson Overland?”

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this several times on other websites, each time editing and changing it to make it better. i felt like i should give this one last post. this is the best version in existence so far and a sequel is well under way. it's a favorite work of mine and i hope you enjoy it. clearly inspired by _robbers_ by the 1975 which i do not own, only admire.


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